May 20, 2003
Police State
Dear David,
Just thought that I would share with you my thoughts on why I believe that the USA is the new Soviet Union.
I had to travel to Kannapolis on Saturday by train. Yes, AMTRAK, remember those poor bastards who are desperately struggling to run a national rail service in the US in the face of the mighty American oil and car industry? Well, I drove to what was the railway station, only to find that the only way to purchase Amtrack tickets was to pick up the tiny RED PHONE on the wall and talk to a damn computer. I felt like Bruce Wayne with his cute little BAT Phone. Anyway, after explaining where I wanted to go and after giving my credit card details, address, zip code, sperm sample etc I then had to race to the other side of town to another railway station to collect the ticket that I had just booked. Could I find the station? Hell no! Was it sign posted (like in England)? Hell no! The only road signs were the ones saying 'BURGER KING< 2 MILES ON THE RIGHT!' You might get lost in the United States but at least you won't starve to death. The only thing likely to kill you in this country is a diabetic coma... NATURAL CAUSES (Well, natural in the USA.) My father inlaw and I found the station. The train was going to be an hour late and then I couldn't collect the ticket that I had bought on the Bat Phone without, wait for it... PICTURE ID! And my Reservation number and rail Code! I was waiting for someone in a rain coat to come up to me and say something like 'The snow in Innsbrook is exceptionally cold this year, but not at saint Moritz.'
Where else in the world apart from the old post Soviet Union do you need ID to purchase fucking rail tickets. A couple of days later I got pulled over by the (you wont believe it) The Mounted Raleigh police! Jesus! 'Do you have ID sir?' .... 'Don't you mean PAPERS PLEASE?' He didn't find it funny, but then most of the cops in N. Carolina have had their frontal lobes removed.
You can't smoke in a bar in NYC, Cracker Barrell doesn't serve beer, Light Beer is so damn light that when I drink it I feel like I'm having a fucking detox, citizens need ID to buy bus and train tickets, phone booking companies wont accept European credit cards, and rail tickets cannot be bought and collected at railway stations.
YOU GUYS LIVE IN A POLICE STATE! I have spoken, it's official. Believe me, in the UK when someone suggested the idea of having a national identity card Parliament threw it out because they believed that "Since when in a free society should you have to carry an identity card?" You shouldn't have to produce a identity card to buy theatre, rail and bus tickets. Every time that I buy beer I am asked for ID. I am 34 years of age. ID to purchase groceries!
Thank you. I feel better for getting that off my chest.
AMERICA... The country that wont sell you codeine but it will sell you guns!
.................